My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
