everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
