tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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