I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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