I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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