What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
