i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
