Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
