I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
