I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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