Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
