i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
