oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
