Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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