you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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