i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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