Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
