I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
