u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
porn star boner night. come get it.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
