Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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