Christians are straight up FREAKS
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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