sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
