She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
