It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
