I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
