worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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