Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
