i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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