wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
