I think scott just propositioned me for sex
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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