At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
