If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
