That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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