I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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