i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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