I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Ketchup is God's man juice
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
