Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
