I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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