my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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