I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
