There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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