Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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