Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
