Im at strip club and am horny
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Someone shattered a urinal.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
