We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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