I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
