its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
