Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
