And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
