My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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