her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
Randomize
